H/T Shower Thoughts on Reddit.
1. The purpose of a lock is to turn a door into a wall.
2. At age 30, you've spent a month having birthdays.
3. When you buy and eat half a chicken, you are secretly sharing a meal with a stranger.
4. 'Coffee flavored water' doesn't sound good but that's what coffee is.
5. We were taught as kids to not get in strangers cars or meet strangers from the Internet, and now we literally summon strangers from the Internet and get in their cars.
6. When you drink alcohol, you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
7. Your car keys have travelled further than your car.
8. The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
9. Fitbits are just like Tamagotchis, except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.
10. Technically almost every mirror you buy at a store is in used condition.
11. Condoms are one of the most environmentally friendly things invented by man. A single one has the potential to eliminate the carbon emissions of an entire human over the course of their lifetime.
12. Tapes has "A" and "B" sides so it only made sense to transition to "CDs."
13. If you had $1 for every year the universe has existed (approximately 13.8 billion years), you wouldn't even make the top 50 on the Forbes list.
14. Punishment for honesty is what makes us lie.
15. Most of the sky is actually below your feet.
16. A telephone makes sound travel faster than the speed of sound.
17. When people think about traveling to the past, they worry about accidentally changing the present, but no one in the present really thinks they can radically change the future.